Improve the handling of cookie life times.

Improve the handling of cookie life times.
The staleness reported in an error cause is in us, not ms.
Enforce limits on the life time via sysct; and socket options
consistently. Update the description of the sysctl variable to
use the right unit. Also do some minor cleanups.
This also fixes an interger overflow issue if the peer can
modify the cookie. This was reported by Felix Weinrank by fuzz testing
the userland stack and in
https://oss-fuzz.com/testcase-detail/4800394024452096

MFC after:		3 days