Update meta mode makefiles

Update meta mode makefiles

meta2deps - add checks to detect truncated/corrupted filemon data
(only known to happen on Linux hosts), to ensure we do not auto
update dependencies based on incomplete data.

meta.stage.mk adds STAGE_SHLIB_LINKS_FILTER and STAGE_LINK_AS_*

We also allow for hosts where egrep is deprecated for grep -E

Reviewed by: stevek